I know many people who would probably argue that success is meant to be easy. Many believe all we have to do is visualise our goal as already achieved, or chant a mantra, and it will all miraculously drop into our laps. And of course for some this does happen.

But we are all different. We all have different belief mechanisms. We all have different paths. And we are all here to experience the physical realities of what we feel about what we create in each moment.

It’s probably fair to say the physical and spiritual realities combine. We decide what we want and begin to work towards it (physical). We then have feelings about what we create (spiritual). This causes us to refine our actions until we either give up or succeed.

A few years ago, I found myself before a judge, giving evidence against someone I used to love. I had been abused by this woman and there were allegations that the same was happening to my daughter. There had been masses of paperwork in the ten months leading up to a final hearing (physical) and the issues raised made me question my own lack of guts in the past and the whole concept of love. My spiritual challenge during these months was to show love and compassion for my ex partner while doing what I had to do for my daughter – and of course answering my own failings as a human being before a Court.

I also took on different challenge. I decided to lose some excess weight. Having declared my intention the universe tested me, both physically and spiritually. During this time, and with a coach to reflect my behaviour, I learned more about my mind, body and spirit than I bargained for. I’ve since been blessed with the opportunity to coach others on the journey to better health and wellness.

Why do I mention these episodes?

In both cases I could have given up, lacked the relentlessness, lacked the guts, determination and backbone to nurture the skills I needed. Had I done this, through my failure to take action I’d probably have resigned one person to abuse for the rest of her childhood. In the other I’d have denied a great coach the ability to show off his skills and earn his living. And maybe, just maybe, as a result of all I’ve learned I might now go on to inspire something special to come from within others I come into contact with.

What if you contributed to one persons happiness today? What if you also inspired someone too because you found the skills and the relentlessness to go beyond the point most people do? What would your family be like in ten years? What would your friends become? What about your business? What about your village or your town?

You see, we can change the world and we do it through evolving our own consciousness. What skills do you have to find and when will you begin to apply them relentlessly in order to make your ripple of change in the world?

Much love and good wishes to you. I hope 2011 is your most magnificent year yet!

Neil

Neil Fellowes shows conscious entrepreneurs, coaches, consultants and complementary therapists how to make a difference AND a profit. Visit his website at http://www.communitysoul.co.uk

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Would love to have you answer these questions: Have you contributed to one person’s happiness recently? Do you think this inspired someone else to do the same and go beyond the point most people do?

Has your mind taken over your spirit?

For most of us, we are driven by what seems to be our needs – emotions and wants. Those needs and wants are driven largely by what we perceive success to be. These perception are created by our masters…

Masters?

Yes, masters. I’m talking about the masters who taught and still teach us how to think and behave. I’m talking about our parents, teachers and peers. I’m also talking about the media, advertisers and clever marketers. Together they make us formidable machines that are driven by unconscious minds.

We literally become machines that will behave in an almost pre-programmed manner, irrespective of whether the current situation warrants the usual behaviour. Some of these masters condition us over time, others plant triggers in our heads, better know as subliminals.

It works like this:

In a relationship I act out the kind of behaviour I saw my parents act out.

In life, I act out the kind of metaphors my parents gave me – work hard for a living, money doesn’t grow on trees. I live these day-in, day-out.

When I sit down to watch TV, I like to sit down with food. If I forget, the advertisers remind me. Before I know it I’m in the kitchen hunting food, despite the fact I want to lose weight and have good dietary habits during the rest of the day.

The trick is to reverse the cycle – get the spirit to drive the mind. Here is how:

1. Sit down in a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed. Now ask your spirit where it would like you to go next on your life path.

2. When you have an answer, consider the possibilities of what needs to be done to get you on that path. Don’t get any fixed or rigid ideas.

3. Create a plan that you think might work and begin to probe and see if things work.

4. Monitor what happens. See where the plan works and see where it takes you and where it doesn’t.  Be aware at all times of when the mind kicks in and tries to take over, saying you ‘should do this‘ or ‘you should do that.’

Whenever the mind takes control you begin to run on auto-pilot. You have to become what they call in quantum physics, the observer.

How do I become the observer?

Simple. You have to learn to monitor your thoughts and begin to question them. By questioning them you become aware of them and can then choose which ones serve you and which ones don‘t. This is much more profitable than making the same mistake ten times and wondering why you keep getting the same result. The question here is always about who is in control…

Was the spirit driving the mind or was the mind driving the spirit?

Love and Good Wishes
Neil

Leave a comment and tell me what drives you — your mind or your spirit? Why?

Neil Fellowes shows conscious entrepreneurs, coaches, consultants and complementary therapists how to make a difference AND a profit. Visit his website at http://www.communitysoul.co.uk

Elton John, Billy Joel, Phil Collins and Freddie Mercury all have something in common – aside of a smidge of talent and the fact they all became pop-stars.

Watch Elton John perform “I’m Still Standing” or Billy Joel play “My Life” at their pianos; witness Freddie Mercury winding up for “We are the Champions” or Phil Collins on drums during “In The Air Tonight,” and you’ll see something magical happening, something that sends shivers down your spine.

But what is it that they do?

We’ll it’s the same ‘something’ that caused Bob Geldoff to pull all his music industry pals together and raise millions for charity back in the eighties with the hit Do they Know Its Christmas and the subsequent Band Aid appeal. It got Churchill to move the nation with powerful speeches and it is all that stands between you and your true greatness.

But what is that ‘something’? And is it simple enough to bring into our everyday lives?

We all have a gift for something. It’s something that we get inspired by. It’s something that when we do it we feel purposeful and “at one”.

Maybe you know what that is. Maybe you don’t.

When spiritual teachers talk about purpose, they talk about it as something we have inside us. It’s true we all have that special something… that something that is the music inside us, but essentially life is meaningless and empty, until we fill it.

I had that experience last summer when on holiday in Spain. There was no school run. No animals to feed. No work to do. I had a blank canvas and from it I created a new purpose.

Before last summer I had never noticed so obviously that we all have the power to materialise and dematerialise life so easily. We construct meaning to things easily and make ourselves purposeful, but how often does that purposefulness connect with passion and inspiration and cause electric sparks in your being?

Maybe now is the time to rethink things

best wishes
Neil

Neil Fellowes shows conscious entrepreneurs, coaches, consultants and complementary therapists how to make a difference AND a profit. Visit his website at http://www.communitysoul.co.uk

When I met Jo in 2002, she asked if I fancied playing a mind game with her.

Now I’ve experienced mind-games in relationships before (haven’t we all), but I’d never been “invited” by my girlfriend to take part in one… they usually sort of just evolved.

So you can understand why I might have been intrigued.

This mind game involved writing down what you most wanted and then visualisation for 10 days, first thing in the morning, and last thing at night.

We took it all lightly and just had fun, especially when things we wanted materialised. We then shared the game with four friends and we all took part. Enjoying the outcomes.

While many things happened quickly, some took longer – one in particular took two years.

We had both been imagining our ideal homes. I wanted to live by the coast, Jo wanted rolling countryside. I wanted a suburban house, Jo wanted animals. And as time passed and I continued to visualise I began to think actually… you know what… by the coast is nice, but rolling hillside sounds nice too and animals sound nice, but what about cleaning them out and feeding them. I wasn’t sure if I wanted all that.

And I imagined it was 5th November and I was on the beach at Christchurch in England and I was facing the Isle of Wight, running sand through my hands having signed the papers for a new house the day before.

Two years later a friend invited us to stay at his house with him. While we were there he asked us if we’d like to go for a trip. It was a lovely day so we said okay. Now we were all interested in how we use the subconscious mind to get what we want. And we were talking about how that comes about as we walked.

And as it happens we were on a beach, and I was down in the sand, collecting bottle tops for a charity appeal. And there I was running sand through my fingers and I looked up and there right in front of me was the Isle of Wight. And I looked behind me and there right behind me was the spot I’d imagined I’d be when I had signed for my house, which is exactly the way it had worked out. The date was 31st October, so 5 days early.

And you know the funny thing… where we live is in rolling countryside. The front of our house looks like a suburban cul-de-sac, while the back of the house backs onto rolling countryside with paddocks and fields with horses and cows and sheep. From my kitchen window I can just see the sea. And my house is in a road called Cross Farm Road, built on old farm land.

So there is a perfect example of getting what you focus on.

What are you focussed on and who will you try this game with?

Best Wishes
Neil

http://www.communitysoul.co.uk

As Dan Millman said during the Spirited Living Summit: “If you want to lose weight, you don’t need to go on a radical diet, just start eating from a smaller plate.”  And as Celebrity Coach, Michael Neill said when I interviewed him, “Change doesn’t have to be painful.”

When you want it to happen, the next logical thing is for it to happen!

We can take small steps and we can allow ourselves some enjoyment and fun.

It’s not always possible to immediately go from a situation in life to your desired result, but we can often get there by taking several easy and natural steps.

A few weeks ago I asked, “What would be better than this?” If asking this question can make things 10% better, then you can make things 10% better than that.

In personal development we’re often told to write down our goals. This is a useful exercise because we gain clarity and put a little more focus into what we write. This is a great first step.

If you draw it out, too, you deepen that connection and you also stimulate the other side of your brain. This is a great second step.

New age teachings recommend we visualise what we want – sitting down and imagining things as we want them to be. And this can be a lot of fun – especially when you let your imagination run riot with juicy possibilities!

But I’d like to offer you a step I add, which may spice things up a little…

When you can imagine what you want to happen now, as you go about your day, or as you make dinner, doze in bed or while you’re out walking or sitting down in front of the TV, you’ll find it coming to you easier and quicker.

We do this when we fall in love. While we’re eating, we’re thinking about the person we’re falling in love with. We imagine what our next date will be like… what we’ll say… how we’ll say it… what we’ll wear…

And you do this with your visualisation to the point where what you want to happen feels like the next logical thing to happen.

When you get to the point of positively expecting it to happen, it will.

Best wishes
Neil

http://www.communitysoul.co.uk

We all have things we want to make a little better.

We all have challenges…

The challenges might come in relationships, at work, with our kids, with our health or something else. So there is always something we want to make a little better.

The first thing to do is the step so many miss. And yet this step really isn’t that profound. In fact it’s simple. It’s profoundly simple. So let me share what it is…

The first thing we have to do to is to make a decision to change things.

I “made” a decision to make my life better in 2002. And it doesn’t matter how good or bad life is, if you want something you don’t yet have, you have to make a decision. If you don’t, nothing changes.

There will be some people reading this article today, who have made a commitment to live life to the full and who will not turn back. These are people who will make a note and who will never look near them and there are people who are ready to make life different – however big or small the change.

In 2002 I was signed off work with a back injury, broke, obese and at this time 33 years old with two kids, and single again after 5 years of abuse. So I couldn’t really go anywhere or do anything much and… to be honest… even if I could… I’d probably have been so depressed no one would have hung out with me for long.

That left me with one focus. That focus was on what would make life better. Nothing else mattered for me at that point and there has been one question that has made a massive difference to me.

The question I ask is, “What is even better than this?”

To ask this question it doesn’t matter how good or bad life is. Asking this question can always make things just a little better.

One afternoon, after a satisfying day, I was laying on the sofa, grinning at the ceiling and I asked, what would make this even better, so I called Jo in for a hug, because sharing my good mood was better than keeping it to myself and it made the moment a bit more special.

Give the question a try…

Best wishes
Neil

http://www.communitysoul.co.uk

When I launched a novel I’d written in 2004, I had a hall filled with 100 people. I signed just under 300 copies that night as people bought multiple copies.

I was in the newspaper, on the radio, was having books delivered by the box load and it was all very exciting.

But some strange things happened that rocked me a little…

People who bought more than one copy were saying things such as one copy was for reading, one was for framing and one was a gift for a friend. I heard a story about one person who bought the book and stopped their spouses from reading it because they wanted the copy to stay in pristine condition.

I found it all bizarre. And coming 2 years after leaving an abusive relationship, and nursing low confidence and self-esteem, all the sudden attention had me reaching for the self-destruct button.

One thing I felt was a strange sense of loneliness that I felt that no one, or anything seemed to be able to fill. And I guess this is where a lot of musicians and film stars end up when they start taking drugs.

Thankfully, I didn’t go along that route and was self-aware enough to capture what was going on and shake myself out of this strange place.

Why am I telling you this story? I’m telling you this because I know many of the people reading this article want to be writers and public speakers. And it’ll be in your vision that you’re in front of people having an impact on their life – present and future. And that impact may well be quite profound.

Are people going to look up to you because you’re an author?

Quite probably they will, because being an author seems to have a certain mystique about it.

Some people who have “found you” might even worship almost every word you speak or write and they will adore you.

And that might feel strange when it happens.

My advice is to allow for this to happen when you visualise your success. Acknowledge how great you are and then see yourself responding with love and kindness and humour – knowing that the other person will get over their crush on you soon enough and you will be back amongst friends and family who will quite probably help you off the pedestal!

But these examples I’ve given you – I’m mentioning them because I want you to be aware that you may have gremlins or down days or painful moments. That succeeding with something really is lovely, but learning to handle it can seem strange.

Best Wishes
Neil

http://www.communitysoul.co.uk

Andrea was 33 years old.

In 16 years she changed jobs nine times. She had two relationship break-ups during that time and was just starting to notice cracks in her third relationship.

She tried getting married once. She even had a baby. She had a nice home. She had a lovely car. She often went out for meals. She watched all the soaps on TV and even went on nice holidays.

But something was still missing…

She often woke up feeling empty. She sometimes felt that the day ahead had no meaning. She would often go for a long bath to try to get to the bottom of why her life felt like it had this void.

She wanted her life to have meaning and purpose…

And what about Tim…

Tim had stuck with the same company for more than a decade, working in a call centre for a bank. He’d been promoted a couple of times. He was married, semi-happy, but often arguing with his wife for no good reason and he felt a growing restlessness.
For almost 8 years, he had felt like life was passing him by. He described his life as a rut and at aged and 35, he knew it was time for life to change before it passed him by.

There are some things we all know…

We all know what we do for a living…

We know our exercise routine, hobbies, habits, things that list of things that needs our attention and even our behaviours.
These are the things that we “do” to try to give our life meaning and purpose.

But are they “who” we are?

Doing  is ‘man’s’ reality…

Doing a job in order to be comfortable in a chosen lifestyle…

Doing well at school so you can be told you are good and go on to University and then earns lots of money…

Doing in accordance with religious beliefs so you can be-long to a group of people..

Doing like your friends and peers so you can be accepted.

Doing so your spouse will be happy with you and continue to love you…

But there’s another reality and it seems to be the reality most people are really searching for…

This is the reality of being. If the words about the do always come before the be.

Below I’ve changed that round and it makes a subtle difference that makes a big difference.

We can Be a certain person or certain way so the job flows with comfort and ease…

Being conscientious so you do well in school; being your spiritual truth so you may do whatever action is of your highest; being who you really are and doing what we know benefits the world and the people who live in it.

We can choose to do our job tomorrow and do the gardening at the weekend or we can be at work during the day and be in the garden on our days off. The difference is subtle, but the change in our reality – in the way we perceive the world – is profound.

Here are a few things about being that I’ve observed:

• ‘Being’ sounds that bit more gentle, distinctively more pleasurable and a lot less like hard work than “doing”.

• Being is about living knowing we have the world inside ourselves and knowing we have the power to create what we want or destroy what we have

• Being is about allowing yourself to become an expression in the world rather than forcing a way

• Being recognises that we are responsible for creating everything in our world and changing what we don’t like

• Being allows us to co-create with God/Universe/Tao/(or what you like to call the greater force that joins everything together)

• Being allows us to exit from painful vicious circles and find solutions

By “being” first – taking the time to think, act and observe – we get the initial sense that life is slowing down. Yet when we look in more detail we see the most rapid movement of incidents and events all leading up to in the moment experiences. Access the information that comes in those in the moment experiences leads us to more desirable outcomes and a life more on purpose.

You can read more on discovering life purpose here:  http://www.communitysoul.co.uk/lifepurpose.htm

Good wishes
Neil

http://www.communitysoul.co.uk

Every successful entrepreneur holds a vision. It’s a vision of what they want their business to become. Because of that vision they can analyse what’s going on, play to their strengths and then work out what else is needed.

A vision also helps your team know if they should even begin the task or take on an opportunity.

If you contrast that with someone who is keen to succeed, but who doesn’t have a vision and fails to look at opportunities… they simply can’t look at the bigger picture, because they don’t have one.

When you have no vision, your main focus when an opportunity comes your way is: “Here’s an opportunity. I can make money from this?”

Today it might be network marketing, tomorrow it’s google adwords and an Internet sales page. It’s just chasing after opportunities, rather than holding an intention – like an arrow in – tension, aiming for the bullseye.

Sir Richard Branson says: “If you make your little decisions based on the big picture, at the very least you’re always heading in the right direction.”

And that’s sound advice. And we know this because Sir Richard Branson is someone who makes a difference through his business and makes a lot of money too, because he has a habit of getting things done.

An entrepreneur knows his biggest opportunity lays within his business, not  something someone is claiming is the latest hot product. Sure entrepreneurs know what else is available to them and when they need someone or some thing that will save time or money, market them more effectively, or create income streams, they use the service available… but it’s only ever in line with the goal… and more often than not, it’s all planned in advance.

What are the things you are doing right now that you think are opportunities, but that are actually off your vision?

What must you give up to get you back on vision?

What are the services and who are the people who can put your business or project into the flow faster?

Best wishes

Neil

It’s no coincidence when you feel your best at work, you attract the best results and the better you feel the better it gets.

Having your business be lighthearted and fun often is going to mean your business is going to continually evolve into something better and better. And that adds more and more greatness to your life and to the hundreds or thousands of people you come into contact with.

When you set your intention for your business, make it fun and don’t inhibit yourself with reality. If you inhibit yourself, you may miss out on the opportunity to explore, understand and grow and you might then miss out on the fruits of being self-employed – which is just about the experience of learning and growing.

For example, when you can start to wonder how you go from £30 an hour  to £200 an hour in 12 months, for a moment you stop thinking about lacking confidence. And while you sense you may be dreaming, you can start to see some natural steps if you watch out for them. You’ll get your focus on how you grow and expand  and you’ll start to ask:  Where will I learn? Who will I learn from.

When I was out with my personal trainer, he said to me, “Don’t worry about winning the race. Just stay focussed on the guy in front. Imagine he has a target on his back and keep your eyes on him until you overtake.”

In business, we have a list of mentors we want to emulate and surpass in various fields and in various ways. Equalling and surpassing the mentor is a milestone on the way to the stars.

It keeps us focussed on a specific task and we don’t lower the focus where we might have questions about belief and confidence. We just stay focussed on what we need to do to surpass the mentor.

Any goal you set is not about the end result really, it’s really about the adventure the goal takes you on -  the research you do, the people you meet, the mistakes you make and learn from, the fun you have, the down days when you beat yourself up into a new shape that somehow makes you stronger and more resilient, and the up days that excite you.

Yes, goals provide a sense of direction or purpose, and yes we can perform better with them, but the learning along the way is what we can take on the rest of the journey with us.

And that’s what I want to focus on now… the journey and the experience and, in particular, self-acceptance.

Best wishes
Neil

http://www.communitysoul.co.uk