Have you ever set a goal and felt disappointed because you didn’t achieve it?

Or have you set a goal and felt out of alignment with the goal immediately -   or felt bad even if you did achieve it?

Or have you ever set a goal and felt like a fraud or laughed at yourself when you set it and immediately said, “No way?”    to yourself.

It may help you to know I’ve felt all of these feelings too at different times. In fact, truth be known, I’ve had most of these feelings more than once.

In the past what’s often called “goal setting” set me up for failure in one way or another. This happened because I either didn’t achieve the goal or because I didn’t like myself while working towards the goal.

I had times when I’d begun working on my goals and felt physically sick. I’d get sweaty hands, have the shivers and go all dizzy. Funny thing was, when I backed off the goal I suddenly felt better.

But here is the thing – and this isn’t rocket science, but it is – unfortunately – something that many people overlook.

When you set a goal or intention you must make sure that you are working towards something you really want and that in your heart it really resonates with you.

The intention must excite you and I don’t mean a false ‘In the brain excitement,’ which originates from the thought that you must try to do the right thing here.

What I mean by excitement is that you get it in your ‘cells’. You don’t have to  punch the air or run around in circles howling like a Red Indian on speed. All you need is an in-the-gut flutter or a grounded feeling of rightness.

Make sure the intention you’re working for is something you really want. This is sound advice, but…

Making sure the intention really blows your socks off, is so much better advice.

My friend and wonderful holistic educator, Dr. William Bloom describes something you‘ll want to look into more. In his amazing book, The Endorphin Effect, he talks about a concept he calls Unboundaried Dreaming.

Unboundaried Dreaming is about creating a vision which is beyond your vision.

It’s a lot of fun…

Another teacher, Barefoot Doctor, AKA Stephen Russell, has a different name for Unboundaried Dreaming.

At an event we (CommunitySoul) ran with him in November 2007 he spoke about creating a ‘Fantasy‘.

Since he taught that technique, it’s something that’s become a regular feature in my life. With a fantasy, as with Unboundaried Dreaming, the general advice is to make what you want out of this world and way beyond what you most want.

Try some fantasy/unboundaried dreaming today

Good Wishes
Neil

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Would love your input: Have you tried Unboundaried Dreaming? How do you set and handle your goals?

Neil Fellowes shows conscious entrepreneurs, coaches, consultants and complementary therapists how to make a difference AND a profit. Visit his website at http://www.communitysoul.co.uk

Do you press the self-sabotage button?

When we begin to do better than we’re comfortable with, we can deliberately do something to take us back to what we are used to or keep us in a holding pattern.

Anyone who has weight problems will probably be able to tell you that maybe on a certain day, when they suddenly felt lighter or maybe on a day which was stressful, they hit the sabotage button and reverted back to the old way.

It happens.

But why does it happen?

One of the reasons is we hit an upper limits of success – we hit the ceiling of what we can cope with for that moment. We’re unable to accept our self as something else… in other words, the success we once wanted now feels uncomfortable.

When I launched my first novel, I had full hall of people. I signed hundreds copies that night. I was in the newspaper, on the radio, was having books delivered by the box load and it was all very exciting. People were buying several copies and telling me they would frame one and I heard stories of people who were buying them and stopping their spouses from reading them because they wanted the copies to stay in pristine condition.

While this would be only limited success with someone like Robbie Williams, I found it all bizarre and it was something I didn’t feel comfortable with.

I hit the self-sabotage button and began to wallow in the success and a loneliness that I felt that no one, or anything, could fill. And I guess this is where a lot of musicians and film stars end up when they start taking drugs.

Thankfully I didn’t go along that route and was self-aware enough to capture what I was doing several weeks into it. But that said, getting out of it wasn’t so easy.

Why am I telling you this story?

I’m telling this story because I know many people reading this article want to be public speakers, writers and authors or make a big difference to other people and what may hold you back is the responsibility.

Yes, you will have people look up to you who tell you how much you changed their life; and while that is lovely, we must always keep in balance the fact that it is the clients that make the change… we just give them the space to make their own realisations and transformations.

To you making profound differences to others,
Neil

Have you reached your limit of success? How did you react? Would appreciate your comments.

Neil Fellowes shows conscious entrepreneurs, coaches, consultants and complementary therapists how to make a difference AND a profit. Visit his website at http://www.communitysoul.co.uk

When you set a goal, that’s just the beginning.

What is it you need to do next to have your vision happen?

Decide on your goal - work out a plan - then move forward.

Way One – The Planning: Do you have to write a plan? Pick up the phone and ask someone for help? Find a mentor?  Is there a book you need to read? A website you need to go to? A product you need to buy? Help you need to enlist?

Make a list of all the steps and make a start. Then proceed.

But it’s not just what you need to do…

Way Two – Take note of the things that cause you discomfort or the things you usually leave undone. It’s madness that we do that kind of thing, but we do!

Why do we do it? We do it because we actually don’t like change much. And why would we? After all, we just spent our who life getting this way, so why would we want it to be any different?

For me, too often in the past I left details undone, so it tripped me up. I didn’t tidy up the little snags. For you, you might notice other things you do that trip you up.

These things that trip you up are things that cause a disconnect with a prospective client or customer, so you have to resolve these snags.

Way Three - When you notice you are doing something that stops you from achieving your goal, you find a solution.

There are other things that can stop you from getting the results you want.

Some people might know they need to make sales calls, but shy away from it. But remember, just because your business needs sales calls made, doesn’t mean you have to make them.

Like with all business problems (and life) you just need to find your way around the problem… over the problem or through the problem.

From there all you do is keep checking on what might stop you. Doing this closes the gap between what you want and where you are.

Happy results!
Neil

Leave a comment and tell us what you do to get results!

Neil Fellowes shows conscious entrepreneurs, coaches, consultants and complementary therapists how to make a difference AND a profit. Visit his website at http://www.communitysoul.co.uk

When you set up the vision for your business… when you’ve written down the goals and visualised it all as you want it to be… the next part – and  the part that most people struggle with is – getting out of your seat and making it happen.

YOU can make it happen!

In this article we’re going to look at how you address this…

A good place to start is with these questions: “What is it you need to do next to have your vision happen?” Do you need to write a business or marketing plan? Get a mentor? Pick up the phone and ask for help from a colleague? Is there a book you need to read? A website you need to go to. What do you have to do?

Make a list of all the steps and set a time aside. A mentor of mine once said, “If you make the first 90 minutes each day about your goal, it will happen.”

I want you to take note of the things that cause you a bit of discomfort. For me, I often left detail. I didn’t tidy up the little snags. I also haven’t always been as determined as I might be. For you, you might notice other things.

What I did is notice where the detail wasn’t tidied. For a time I went over it until it became perfect and until that perfection was no longer a pain but an absolute joy.

Of course another way is to outsource what you’re not good at, and I do more and more of that as time goes by… because I found that this was a faster way to joy!

And while we’re talking about overcoming pain and gaining pleasure I should mention self-sabotage. When we begin to do better than we’re comfortable with, we can have glitches.

Anyone who has weight problems will probably be able to tell you that maybe on a certain day, when they suddenly feel lighter or maybe on a day which was stressful, they hit the self-sabotage button and revert back to the old way.

It happens. Why does it happen?

Well, one of the reasons is we hit an upper limit of success – we hit the ceiling of what we can cope with for that moment. We’re unable to accept our self as something else… in other words, the success we once wanted now feels uncomfortable.

It’s important we know this happens and we take the time to handle this, or you might be hitting that self-destruct button… and you don’t want that.

Best Wishes
Neil

Neil Fellowes shows conscious entrepreneurs, coaches, consultants and complementary therapists how to make a difference AND a profit. Visit his website at http://www.communitysoul.co.uk

As Dan Millman said during the Spirited Living Summit: “If you want to lose weight, you don’t need to go on a radical diet, just start eating from a smaller plate.”  And as Celebrity Coach, Michael Neill said when I interviewed him, “Change doesn’t have to be painful.”

When you want it to happen, the next logical thing is for it to happen!

We can take small steps and we can allow ourselves some enjoyment and fun.

It’s not always possible to immediately go from a situation in life to your desired result, but we can often get there by taking several easy and natural steps.

A few weeks ago I asked, “What would be better than this?” If asking this question can make things 10% better, then you can make things 10% better than that.

In personal development we’re often told to write down our goals. This is a useful exercise because we gain clarity and put a little more focus into what we write. This is a great first step.

If you draw it out, too, you deepen that connection and you also stimulate the other side of your brain. This is a great second step.

New age teachings recommend we visualise what we want – sitting down and imagining things as we want them to be. And this can be a lot of fun – especially when you let your imagination run riot with juicy possibilities!

But I’d like to offer you a step I add, which may spice things up a little…

When you can imagine what you want to happen now, as you go about your day, or as you make dinner, doze in bed or while you’re out walking or sitting down in front of the TV, you’ll find it coming to you easier and quicker.

We do this when we fall in love. While we’re eating, we’re thinking about the person we’re falling in love with. We imagine what our next date will be like… what we’ll say… how we’ll say it… what we’ll wear…

And you do this with your visualisation to the point where what you want to happen feels like the next logical thing to happen.

When you get to the point of positively expecting it to happen, it will.

Best wishes
Neil

http://www.communitysoul.co.uk

The more you niche the better it gets.  You could be a coach to anyone… or better, you could be the coach to small businesses. Better than that is being the coach to small businesses based in the UK. Better than that is the business coach who helps small businesses in the UK get new clients on tap.

You could be a psychic. You could be the psychic to anyone. Or better… the psychic to women. Or better… you could be the psychic to women who want to develop intuitive gifts so they can pass on the art of intuition to the next generation.

I once saw a stationer say they were the stationer for left-handed people and around 25% of the room queued up after their presentation. And when you’ve cracked one niche, there’s nothing to stop you cracking another and another.

This is a tactic that the military use. They create a beachhead – a place to launch their attacks from. So in creating your niche all you’re creating is YOUR beachhead… your place from which to launch from.

Big businesses do this too. When Honda opened in the US they’d already been operating in Japan for 11 years. They then took their 50cc moped into the most competitive motorcycle market in the world, taking on the likes of Harley Davidson with a quiet and efficient bike. This first bike was originally only sold in LA, and only sold via one dealership, so creating the beachhead. That bike has gone on to sell 30 million units and is still in production today.

Having secured a beachhead, Honda turned to cars and then went after the same segment of customers. They understood their segment of customers needs and they served them.

You have to know where you want to work. You have to know who your client is and you have to understand their needs and wants and then you have to give them it over and over again.

And when you know your niche… how you advertise, offer incentives and promote yourself all becomes clearer and easier and much more profitable.

With niching you need to know who your client is and you have to understand their needs and wants and when is best to give them it… then you have to give them it.

You can start building a niche just from knowing the answer to four questions:

1. Who – who is the client: age, marital status, employment, family situation
2. What are their big issues and problems – what are they struggling with
3. Where are they based – what’s the geographic radius
4. When is the best time to approach them – end of the month… is it seasonal?… is it…?

From there, creating products and services that match their needs and where to market and when, all becomes so much easier.

Best wishes
Neil

http://www.communitysoul.co.uk

A number of people are struggling to find the flow of clients they want, and they need to learn how to have clients come to them more easily.

Entrepreneurs know they need to niche, but they resist it because they have a fear of narrowing focus to a specific niche and perhaps losing income.

Others may have heard that they should niche, but just don’t know where to start. And that’s okay.

Consider the word gratefulness – that’s two words great-fullness… so this is like an overflowing cup.  And this is an overflowing cup of possibilities.

And you’ve probably heard the saying that what we appreciate, appreciates. So there is a great-fullness and approach to niching as an appreciation – or with a mark of respect.

With great-fullness we appreciate who and what we want to come to us. So through niching we really are activating the law of attraction and we are also beginning from a starting point of abundance, rather than lack.

The person, who truly appreciates and honours the potential customers bringing business, is the person who invests upfront in creating a great-fullness of opportunities for those customers – much the way our Insiders Secrets group works.

Now I know this is where many people come unstuck. You want people to respond to your offers. You want customers to return. You want referrals… And what’s missing is the appreciation and the clarity that attracts these possibilities.

This comes because you need the bit of the puzzle that will help you create that appreciation or because you are stuck, in fear, or coming from a place of lack where you think if you niche you will lose clients or opportunities or income.

The first thing to do is drop your resistance to niching and start with an open and abundant heart that will really serve others.

Love and best wishes
Neil

http://www.communitysoul.co.uk

Andrea was 33 years old.

In 16 years she changed jobs nine times. She had two relationship break-ups during that time and was just starting to notice cracks in her third relationship.

She tried getting married once. She even had a baby. She had a nice home. She had a lovely car. She often went out for meals. She watched all the soaps on TV and even went on nice holidays.

But something was still missing…

She often woke up feeling empty. She sometimes felt that the day ahead had no meaning. She would often go for a long bath to try to get to the bottom of why her life felt like it had this void.

She wanted her life to have meaning and purpose…

And what about Tim…

Tim had stuck with the same company for more than a decade, working in a call centre for a bank. He’d been promoted a couple of times. He was married, semi-happy, but often arguing with his wife for no good reason and he felt a growing restlessness.
For almost 8 years, he had felt like life was passing him by. He described his life as a rut and at aged and 35, he knew it was time for life to change before it passed him by.

There are some things we all know…

We all know what we do for a living…

We know our exercise routine, hobbies, habits, things that list of things that needs our attention and even our behaviours.
These are the things that we “do” to try to give our life meaning and purpose.

But are they “who” we are?

Doing  is ‘man’s’ reality…

Doing a job in order to be comfortable in a chosen lifestyle…

Doing well at school so you can be told you are good and go on to University and then earns lots of money…

Doing in accordance with religious beliefs so you can be-long to a group of people..

Doing like your friends and peers so you can be accepted.

Doing so your spouse will be happy with you and continue to love you…

But there’s another reality and it seems to be the reality most people are really searching for…

This is the reality of being. If the words about the do always come before the be.

Below I’ve changed that round and it makes a subtle difference that makes a big difference.

We can Be a certain person or certain way so the job flows with comfort and ease…

Being conscientious so you do well in school; being your spiritual truth so you may do whatever action is of your highest; being who you really are and doing what we know benefits the world and the people who live in it.

We can choose to do our job tomorrow and do the gardening at the weekend or we can be at work during the day and be in the garden on our days off. The difference is subtle, but the change in our reality – in the way we perceive the world – is profound.

Here are a few things about being that I’ve observed:

• ‘Being’ sounds that bit more gentle, distinctively more pleasurable and a lot less like hard work than “doing”.

• Being is about living knowing we have the world inside ourselves and knowing we have the power to create what we want or destroy what we have

• Being is about allowing yourself to become an expression in the world rather than forcing a way

• Being recognises that we are responsible for creating everything in our world and changing what we don’t like

• Being allows us to co-create with God/Universe/Tao/(or what you like to call the greater force that joins everything together)

• Being allows us to exit from painful vicious circles and find solutions

By “being” first – taking the time to think, act and observe – we get the initial sense that life is slowing down. Yet when we look in more detail we see the most rapid movement of incidents and events all leading up to in the moment experiences. Access the information that comes in those in the moment experiences leads us to more desirable outcomes and a life more on purpose.

You can read more on discovering life purpose here:  http://www.communitysoul.co.uk/lifepurpose.htm

Good wishes
Neil

http://www.communitysoul.co.uk

Every successful entrepreneur holds a vision. It’s a vision of what they want their business to become. Because of that vision they can analyse what’s going on, play to their strengths and then work out what else is needed.

A vision also helps your team know if they should even begin the task or take on an opportunity.

If you contrast that with someone who is keen to succeed, but who doesn’t have a vision and fails to look at opportunities… they simply can’t look at the bigger picture, because they don’t have one.

When you have no vision, your main focus when an opportunity comes your way is: “Here’s an opportunity. I can make money from this?”

Today it might be network marketing, tomorrow it’s google adwords and an Internet sales page. It’s just chasing after opportunities, rather than holding an intention – like an arrow in – tension, aiming for the bullseye.

Sir Richard Branson says: “If you make your little decisions based on the big picture, at the very least you’re always heading in the right direction.”

And that’s sound advice. And we know this because Sir Richard Branson is someone who makes a difference through his business and makes a lot of money too, because he has a habit of getting things done.

An entrepreneur knows his biggest opportunity lays within his business, not  something someone is claiming is the latest hot product. Sure entrepreneurs know what else is available to them and when they need someone or some thing that will save time or money, market them more effectively, or create income streams, they use the service available… but it’s only ever in line with the goal… and more often than not, it’s all planned in advance.

What are the things you are doing right now that you think are opportunities, but that are actually off your vision?

What must you give up to get you back on vision?

What are the services and who are the people who can put your business or project into the flow faster?

Best wishes

Neil

It was 8.45am, on a spring morning during the school run, when I discovered a philosophy that’s served me well ever since. It came courtesy of a conflict between a lorry driver and someone running late for work.

At that time in my life, I was getting things back on track after 6 years of getting things ‘wrong’ and, as I was walking home, I caught one of those perfect, transformative moments.

In life, we create history in every moment. Imagine that right now you’re printing your beliefs, values, understanding, hopes and fears onto a tapestry. And also imagine that what you think and feel about all of those things will create the next moment you live and how you live it.

Point in case….

As the lorry driver turned into a depot in a narrow, village street that was a cut through for rush hour commuters, a car driver got out of his car and began to give the lorry driver a piece of his mind as he reversed his forty tonne vehicle.

It was as the swearing and gesturing mounted that I realised how good my life was. I wasn’t uptight about being late for work. I wasn’t sitting in traffic getting angry. I had no stress in my life.

I worked for myself. I loved what I did and I gained a new appreciation for the pace my life was moving at.

So as the beefy lorry driver gestured from his cab, I walked on, smiling.

That’s when I noted I had no tension. I liked this feeling, and as the months went by, I began to make ‘Dropping tension’ a practice, whenever I felt it in my body.

Back then I didn’t know how I was changing my future when I dropped the tension. I just knew I felt better – more at peace.

During this time I was learning something.

What I began to understand was that you can’t beat the world into the shape you want it to be. Logically, the world is too big for that. So here is what happened…

I began to see that I was at my best when I didn’t feel tense. I made better decisions. I was kinder to myself and others. I began to enjoy the feeling of peace that flowed through me and I wanted more of that feeling.

So my life went on: feel tense, let go; find peace and love, be at my best; feel tense, let it go, and so on…

Then I began to pause at set times of the day to check in with how I felt. I’d find myself in the middle of something and say “breathe”, or “relax” and suddenly I’d find that feeling I was looking for.

My practice taught me that you can’t rush nature. But it also taught me something else – something more profound!

As I became more peaceful I became more in love with life. When this happened the things I’d been struggling to make happen, began to unfold.

What did this tell me?

It told me that and the quickest way to gain what I wanted was to become calmer, more peaceful, more loving.

We can all make our demands in life, like the man who got out of his car and berated the lorry driver. But when we do that, life – like the lorry driver – will gesture back at us.

If we get angry we’ll create a historical path of anger and that anger will ripple out and find more anger and more reasons to be angry and our future will become a reflection of this anger.

Yet if we catch our temper before it snaps in the traffic, or at the kids, or at a customer or bank clerk or at the insurance company, and if we can learn to drop the tension, we create a happier path and a ripple that changes everything we come into contact with.

With good wishes
Neil

Neil Fellowes shows conscious entrepreneurs, coaches, consultants and complementary therapists how to make a difference AND a profit. Visit his website at http://www.communitysoul.co.uk