It’s no coincidence when you feel your best at work, you attract the best results and the better you feel the better it gets.

Having your business be lighthearted and fun often is going to mean your business is going to continually evolve into something better and better. And that adds more and more greatness to your life and to the hundreds or thousands of people you come into contact with.

When you set your intention for your business, make it fun and don’t inhibit yourself with reality. If you inhibit yourself, you may miss out on the opportunity to explore, understand and grow and you might then miss out on the fruits of being self-employed – which is just about the experience of learning and growing.

For example, when you can start to wonder how you go from £30 an hour  to £200 an hour in 12 months, for a moment you stop thinking about lacking confidence. And while you sense you may be dreaming, you can start to see some natural steps if you watch out for them. You’ll get your focus on how you grow and expand  and you’ll start to ask:  Where will I learn? Who will I learn from.

When I was out with my personal trainer, he said to me, “Don’t worry about winning the race. Just stay focussed on the guy in front. Imagine he has a target on his back and keep your eyes on him until you overtake.”

In business, we have a list of mentors we want to emulate and surpass in various fields and in various ways. Equalling and surpassing the mentor is a milestone on the way to the stars.

It keeps us focussed on a specific task and we don’t lower the focus where we might have questions about belief and confidence. We just stay focussed on what we need to do to surpass the mentor.

Any goal you set is not about the end result really, it’s really about the adventure the goal takes you on -  the research you do, the people you meet, the mistakes you make and learn from, the fun you have, the down days when you beat yourself up into a new shape that somehow makes you stronger and more resilient, and the up days that excite you.

Yes, goals provide a sense of direction or purpose, and yes we can perform better with them, but the learning along the way is what we can take on the rest of the journey with us.

And that’s what I want to focus on now… the journey and the experience and, in particular, self-acceptance.

Best wishes
Neil

http://www.communitysoul.co.uk

What’s the dream you’re working on right now?

You may know the answer to this straight away, but if you pause for more than 3 seconds to gather loose strands of thoughts about things you thought about days or weeks ago, you’re going to find this article the catalyst to moving the goal posts to a time, sometime sooner.

The first component is focus. You have to know clearly what you want long term. That long-term focus might break down into smaller steps.

Let’s say the long term focus is a great relationship that has thus far been illusive. That then might break down into daily tasks.

Each day I look at my 5 points of focus and decide what one thing I’m going to do on each of them. This means each day I move a step closer to my goal.

In the relationship example maybe the short-term goal is to do some self-work, book on a workshop, uncover what your ideal mate will be into, become a better kisser, dress better, feel better about yourself – whatever you feel is appropriate.

Once you have the clarity, the second thing to look at is your desire to make it happen. You’ve got to want it. It’s all fine and dandy thinking you’d like something, but do you really have a desire to have it happen. There’s little point in deciding you want something, then getting passive about it.

If the desire is there, then the third thing to look at is belief. You’ve got to believe you can do it. I believe I’m capable of pretty much anything I turn my mind to. I believe that when I come from a place of playfulness and fun, I double my chances.

Fourth element to consider is self-acceptance. Do you believe you’re worthy of what you want? To pull it off you have to believe this down to your core.

Be… do… have…

With clarity, desire, belief and self-acceptance in place, it’s easier to begin to “be” what you want – to act as if.

For example, if you want to earn £250,000 next year and you work that out, based on the hours you’d work during the next 12 months as roughly earning £200 per hour, you’d be clear on what you want.

When you look at why you want it, you build the desire. When you look for examples of where you are close to that value each hour, you build the belief. When you look at why you’re deserving of your goal, you build the references around you.

So when you begin to “do”, you’ll discover more evidence of when you’re earning your hourly rate. You may also notice when you’re not. When you start to move to lower then £200 an hour tasks from your way, you begin to get ever closer to the amount you want to earn.

When your focus, attention and behaviour have been honed long enough on what you want, your dream will come true.

Until next time

Neil

http://www.communitysoul.co.uk

Sitting down, on the floor in my living room, with Jo and a dozen bits of scrap paper neatly placed around us, isn’t the way we always spend a Saturday night. But what a night it turned out to be…

I’d just spent the day with my favourite teacher, Dr. William Bloom, as he gave his take on Creating and Manifesting a great life. He’d been asking a question during his course: “Who is telling my story?”

I thought about some of my beliefs, behaviours and values and mulled over where those patterns had been instilled – at school, by parents, friends, work colleagues, sports team managers etc.

There were a few beliefs and behaviour’s that struck me, but one I particularly want to share with you, in case you have something similar to heal…

During my school days I was always picked for leadership – team captain, town, county and club, games captain and prefect. I loved lifting trophies, hated losing, and always led by example. In football – my favourite sport – it was a thrill to captain lads who went on to sign for Arsenal, West Ham and Northampton.

I missed out on trials for Leicester because of a back injury and never got another chance to fulfil my footballing dream. (Ahhh!)

I ended up playing for the second best semi-pro outfit in the town, doing a solid job at centre half, but hankering to play in my best position, fullback. When I asked the manager to switch me, he said he’d think about it. The next match, he gave me the only roasting a team manager ever gave me, and he did it in front of the rest of the team, just because I’d asked him to play me where I knew I’d deliver my best for the team.

If that humiliation wasn’t enough, he dropped me to the 3rd team reserves the following week.

Had I dug in, gritted my teeth and fought my way back, maybe I’d have eventually worked my way back into the team and gone on to fulfill my footballing dream… who knows? But it wasn’t to be…

So as a 17 year old, I chose not to roll up my sleeves and pull out the fire from within. My will broken, I gave up. Told the manger where to shove his team and entered a bitter loop.

With my old friends playing professionally, me missing my golden opportunity, ending up at semi-pro level and then being dropped to the 3rd team, I became trapped in the experience of “not feeling good enough” – a psychological drama that many people share, for lots of different reasons.

But what’s all this got to do with sitting on the living room floor with Jo on a Saturday night?

Well, I’d become interested with the differences that separate success from failure and I wanted to ensure I ditched this not-feeling-good-enough feeling. It was no longer serving me and the direction my life was going in.

So I wrote down, “not good enough and weak willed” on this scrap of paper. Then I sat back and wondered, if I turned this over to the Universe (God, the Tao, Spirit – or whatever you want to call it) how would this experience be used as a force for good.

The answer was simple. “By determination and excellence.”

When I read the life story of top football manager, Sir Alex Ferguson, I was left in no doubt that when he was faced with similar situations of being dropped as a footballer, he was tougher than me. Today, as a manager he buys only excellence and demands excellence from his team every time.

So I adopted his determination and pursuit of excellence and asked another question, “How would I express this determination and excellence?”

The answer: put in five times more effort. So I have.

I began by clearing space. I looked at habits and behaviours that were not determined and began changing them. When I do something that doesn’t match the new standard, I go back and do it again and again until it is.

You see, being in a flow of having more isn’t just about asking for more – it’s about matching up to what you want. Having more isn’t just about writing down a goal. It’s not making a wish. It’s about putting your soul into the thing you want and doing it with love, joy compassion and good grace that honours your journey and the new you that is emerging.

Who is telling your story? What holds you back? What would life be like if you changed that forever?

How about you change it?

With love

Neil

http://www.communitysoul.co.uk

What I’m going to take you through in this article is a technique I use to constantly close the gap between where I am and where I want to get to. I’m sharing this so you can use it too.

When I sit down to write an article or I’m mapping out one of the Insiders Secrets webinars or training session I always start with a visualisation.

I imagine that I am looking beyond the page and seeing everyone taking notes, and magical golden fairy dust passing down the phone lines, enveloping you – and as a result of what I share, you become more prosperous.

And I appreciate that might all sound a bit fanciful, but it’s a technique that I know inspires me to create information that helps people and gets great feedback.

In the grand scheme of things this might seem small, but if something you take notes from becomes a way you do business, or helps you create something that changes lives or leads to your prosperity or the prosperity of one of your clients, then that’s a very cool ripple.

A vision I hold for CommunitySoul is that whoever walks with us becomes increasingly prosperous as a result of the association. Our aim is to help 12,000 business reach more than a million people and change their lives by the end of this year.

Part of the vision for these newsletters is that it’s fluff free, so let me ground what I’m saying here, before you accuse me of going off with the fairies!

Knowing the vision allows me to sit back after our events and evaluate. I’m looking at the details. What will help us to achieve our vision faster? Where don’t we match up to the vision? Are the presentations right? Did people learn all they could in the time we had? Who else can benefit from hearing this speaker? Could people listen in comfort? Is everyone moving forward? Timings? Overall message? The marketing? What needs to improve? Who will do it?

So, when you have a clear vision, you can see how easily you can begin to constantly close the gap between where you are now and where you want to get too.

It’s simple. Know your vision. Know your starting point. Close the gap.

Best wishes

Neil

www.communitysoul.co.uk

Over the years I’ve heard variations of the same phrase many times. I used to think these variations had wisdom. But now I’m not so convinced.

When someone is at a crossroads they’re often quite vulnerable. “This way or that way?” is their question. At this vulnerable junction what people are often looking for is evidence of what is right or wrong to do.

It’s not a crime to think that what shows up is evidence of the right direction to take, but I suspect there is a little more to it than that.

A friend once gave up a golden opportunity because an obstacle was put in their way that they viewed as evidence not to go forward. The pain of not having done what they wanted still irks them today and I suspect they know they could easily have moved that obstacle.

As a result, when something happens to me and I tell the story to others and someone sagely says, “Ah… maybe that’s evidence that you should (or shouldn’t) go for it,” I have an impulse to say “Please, don’t be so naive”.

Rather than have a one-off moment and become the judge and jury of your future, I believe there is far more depth to be explored. In life we have desires for specific outcomes all the time. “I want my partner to say this or that”. “I want the children to do x, y and z”.  “I want more clients”. “I want to be happy..”. I want… I want…

So we have desires all the time. When we think “I want to be happy” and something immediately happens that makes us unhappy, our mental hard drive might be wired to select this as further proof we’re unhappy, that life is the pits or that maybe we should turn our back on a dream and run a mile.

Maybe we should run a mile. There are plenty of life and death situations where a good pair of training shoes and a sprint are just perfect.

But crossroad situations are not usually like this, and emergency operating procedure really shouldn’t apply – and to apply it may be nuts… and nuts are for monkeys!

More important than taking physical evidence as a judgement, it might be far wiser to view it as a greater opportunity. If you do this you can take stock and choose, rather than react and make an unwise choice.

Let’s say you want to be happy, but don’t feel happy in your relationship. You’re crossroads might be “Do I go home or go for a drink?” Then a friend offers to buy you a drink.

At first glance you could judge this as evidence to have the drink. But more important than the circumstances that manifest is what you feel about what happened on the outside.

Whatever goes on outside, you always brings up feelings. In the drink example these feelings could be: the guilt of not going home to your spouse; the jealously you feel because the person who invited you is single; or the anger at yourself for not taking responsibility for the state of your relationship; or the pessimism you feel about your future.

I see the feelings as far, far more important than what is happening and the search for happiness is going to be found by becoming friends with these feelings rather than naively thinking you just had evidence you should stay and have a drink and then leave a relationship.

Of course there are times when it is absolutely right to leave a relationship and you will be clear enough when that occurs. But if you walk from one relationship to another without knowing your feelings and managing your actions, you’ll probably find yourself following the same cycle of events over and over again.

Something I’m enjoying right now is happiness and good, graceful energy flowing. But recently that was tested…

It was at my 40th birthday party. As maybe you have, too, I had those pre-party feelings of who will show? Will they enjoy it? etc

Mid evening a friend said they had to go. My immediate feeling was disappointment and I wanted to say, “Please stay.” But as I checked my own feeling of disappointment, I realised it was born from nothing more than the sadness of not circulating fast enough to spend more than this moment with them.

It would have been easy to have done one of several things to get them to stay longer. But I paused a moment and armed myself with knowing why I felt a pang of sorrow at their exit.

Years ago, feeling vulnerable at a party, I might have tried a number of tactics to get them to stay. But because the experience I want is happiness with graceful energy flowing, it was easy to walk my friend to the door and at least enjoy the moment I had with them and wish them well on their journey home.

When you want to be happy and something happens that makes you unhappy, please don’t just judge it as more evidence that life sucks. Please learn to see it as an opportunity to make it better. Notice what feeling rises for you and think about what tells you about who you are and where you are heading beyond this crossroads.

Love and best wishes
Neil

Several years ago, a multi-millionaire told me to never listen to the news. He said, “It’s negative. Avoid it, but trust if things get bad enough, someone will tell you!” And that’s pretty much how I’ve been doing things ever since.

I generally only read the back page of a newspaper and I do it in a shop without buying it. I hardly watch the news on TV, though occasionally I do get caught by a story when I’m on the Internet.

What I’ve noticed about the media is that it can hook us and when it does it’s usually fear based: the fear of bad things happening to children in a street, going out after dark, the effects of war, debt and killer viruses, to name a few.

While we have half a mind on these things, we’ve got the other half running on survival. So there’s little room to think about developing life beyond the current struggles.

The foundation for developing life – give space…

We have to know where we’re heading; and in order to get a clear view of that, the first thing we may have to do is lighten the load we’re carrying i.e. let go of the things that hold us back.

This could mean blacking out the media. It could be removing anything that doesn’t work for you, so you can create the space to do things that help you develop and connect with the people important to you.

Recently a farmer cut through an electric cable and 27 homes were not just without power for several days, but all their electrical items blew. I asked one of the residents what it was like…

He said, “It was amazing. We lit candles and we sat in front of the log fire and talked. We don’t usually do that.”

So the foundation I’m talking about is giving yourself the space.

Where will it all take you?

To develop our life and create something better, we need to know what we want at the end. As Stephen Covey says, “Start with the end in mind.”

When you make a little space, you can create the strategy that will keep you on track. It’s this type of space that coaching creates – a space to step back and be objective.

But it all begins, by making a little space and knowing what you want.

Love and best wishes

Neil

I must have stared out the window for several minutes. And I still didn’t have the answer – or so it seemed. But then a question came to mind – “what’s the most compelling subject on my mind?”

A few minutes earlier, I’d been in the garden wondering why I couldn’t think of anything to write and beating myself up, because, for the first time ever, I felt like I had writer’s block.

And then it all fell into place…

This week I’ve spent a lot of time reviewing where life is heading and asking questions of myself and those around me. But more important than just asking any old question, I’ve been especially conscious of the power of every question I asked.

And while that may seem bizarre, or perhaps anal, I’d like to beg you to stick with me a moment…

Underlying the chaos of work, relationships, money, kids, stepkids, ex’s, family and the trials and tribulations of teenagers etc, there are, in my opinion, some key fundamentals that shape favourable or unfavourable outcomes in our life.

I can understand why, when faced with problems, most people want to hide. I mean, I remember watching the TV news one evening a couple of years ago and the way the “Credit Crunch” illusion was reported made me want to run away.

While some will tighten their belts, others will hoist up surrender flags and end up handing back the keys to a home for which they’ve slaved for years. Meantime another group of people will wait, ask the right questions and at the right time make a packet of money – because they know even a recession can create a harvest time.

My example here is money, but it wouldn’t matter what aspect of life we picked, because whatever area of life you choose, the outcome will have a large bearing on just one thing – the questions you ask about the situation you’re in.

Maybe you’ve read Esther and Jerry Hicks book with the biblical title, Ask and It’s Given. The book talks about asking for what you want and then having it come to you. On the same theme, Tony Robbins, personal development guru, talks about it slightly differently.

Robbins says the questions you ask determine what you receive. He’s saying that your outcome is determined by the quality of your questions on a subject.

We could ask: How come this is happening? Why now? What have I done to deserve this? How come I can’t get myself ahead? Why didn’t I make better decisions?

Or you could ask: With my skills and knowledge how can I make the best of this situation? What new skills and knowledge can I gain to profit from this? What are the millionaires and billionaires doing that others are not?

The first set of questions don’t help you. They dwell on the sob story. The second set unlock your potential. So the second set of questions has the potential to take you to a more successful outcome than the first.

If you can master your questions you’re going to find life getting easier.

Neil

http://www.communitysoul.co.uk

A girl looked in the mirror. Her friend sat behind her. “I spend hours in front of the mirror admiring my beauty,” she said, “Do you think that’s vanity?”

“No,” her friend replied, “that’s imagination.”

At first I saw this as a rather cutting joke by the friend, but after last week, I’ve begun to see her wisdom.

Confucius said, “Everything has its beauty, but not everyone sees it.”

In the last few days I’ve seen some beautiful things. I’m sure the beauty always existed, but maybe I just failed to welcome it into my reality.

Take my garden. In the past I had no objection to gardening, so long as it didn’t take more than an hour a week! But a few years ago with bad weather and a busy schedule, it became very challenging to get to grips with it. I toyed with the idea of getting someone in, but resisted the temptation.

Then on Sunday morning I looked out at the garden, all overgrown – and I sighed. Then I closed my eyes and imagined myself tidying parts of it. I imagined where I would work. I saw everything I touched turning gold and returning to beauty.

Then I watched a short clip of Sir Richard Branson’s Necker Island on the Internet and kept the lovely music by Mandalay in my mind as I fetched the tools and began the transformation process outside. When I felt my energy drain, I paused, took in the art I’d been performing, returned to the short clip and then continued.

Loving beauty is a matter of taste. You can love someone because they look beautiful, but isn’t it amazing when they become more beautiful because of how you love them?

The creation of beauty is art, and art begins with imagination.

With imagination we can create more beauty. And everyone needs beauty, a place to play, a place to pray, a place to heal and a place to be inspired. With that imagination, the art and the inspiration, I created beauty in my garden.

And as I worked around my pond, I wondered about creating beauty in business. That stopped me in my tracks. I mean, beauty will capture attention, but the personality a business is built with can open hearts.

And opening the heart in business, where traditionally there is often a perceived lack of heart, has to have beauty. If the intention is to serve others, to build creative relationships, surprise and delight your customers, then that’s beauty.

Helen Keller said, “The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart.” So as I’m writing this note to you, I’m pausing to notice the lavender in my garden swaying in the breeze and the bees buzzing from stem to stem as they make their honey.

Last night we went to bed early. We did this so we could appreciate our garden even more, which might sound odd until you realise that our bedroom has huge windows that overlook the garden which was lit by flickering candle lights that I’d imagined were there when I began to transform the garden over the weekend.

Life can be hard, but by being artful with what you have, it can become beautiful.

Create blessing, and stand by for miracles!
Neil

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Neil Fellowes shows conscious entrepreneurs, coaches, consultants and complementary therapists how to make a difference AND a profit. Visit our website at http://www.communitysoul.co.uk

I know the title might sound odd – to aim beyond what you want, but I would prefer you to aim higher, rather than lower, and this article is about that.

Accepting lower than we aimed for is about an attitude of taking second best -  lowering standards, but I want to inspire you by talking about the amazing things that happen when you have a vision, take action that backs up the vision and then capitalise on the additional opportunities that come your way when you are in the dynamic flow of momentum.

Setting a vision is vital. Holding the vision is no less important. If you left the corporate world and set up on your own with just the skills, knowledge and qualifications earned, and a deep desire to do things your way and began your business with no more of a vision than that, you probably wouldn’t be the first.

I was 21 when I did that. After a faltering start – or more “stop” than “start” I did manage to get it to pay off.

The problem I had then was I had very little direction.

I like to look at direction as being intention – what we want to create. And I like to break the word in-tension down into two words and change a letter the “t” for and “s”– and create “in” and “tension”. And the kind of tension I’m talking about is the kind of tension an archer has when he’s aiming for the bullseye, rather than the kind of tension lots of people have when running a small business – which can often be caused by running around like a headless chicken because there was no real intention and therefore no idea of how to get from A to Z.

Let me start by giving you an example. Nicky Marshall, runs HolisticInsights.co.uk. Nicky had an idea of running events to help people with their well-being. Originally it was therapies and readings that might help people feel better and find some direction. That was her moon. But when she started taking action, she began to bump into opportunities that enhanced her intention and she moved beyond her original aims…

But let me give you another example. I used to be a business mentor passing on my knowledge. Then I started to dream beyond that.

I began by thinking I would pass on all my knowledge, then I thought, what’s better than that? Then I thought wouldn’t it be great to let other people hear what I’m learning about right now and what we are trying at the cutting edge of our business. Wouldn’t it also be great to be able to give people mentoring in a more cost effective way and wouldn’t it be great to create a community around it all? Here is what I created – http://www.insiderssecrets.co.uk/

So think about your business… what do you need to do to get the expertise in place that helps you aim higher? What can you offer your clients that meets their needs?

Best
Neil

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Neil Fellowes shows conscious entrepreneurs, coaches, consultants and complementary therapists how to make a difference AND a profit. Visit our website at http://www.communitysoul.co.uk