Have you ever set a goal and felt disappointed because you didn’t achieve it?

Or have you set a goal and felt out of alignment with the goal immediately -   or felt bad even if you did achieve it?

Or have you ever set a goal and felt like a fraud or laughed at yourself when you set it and immediately said, “No way?”    to yourself.

It may help you to know I’ve felt all of these feelings too at different times. In fact, truth be known, I’ve had most of these feelings more than once.

In the past what’s often called “goal setting” set me up for failure in one way or another. This happened because I either didn’t achieve the goal or because I didn’t like myself while working towards the goal.

I had times when I’d begun working on my goals and felt physically sick. I’d get sweaty hands, have the shivers and go all dizzy. Funny thing was, when I backed off the goal I suddenly felt better.

But here is the thing – and this isn’t rocket science, but it is – unfortunately – something that many people overlook.

When you set a goal or intention you must make sure that you are working towards something you really want and that in your heart it really resonates with you.

The intention must excite you and I don’t mean a false ‘In the brain excitement,’ which originates from the thought that you must try to do the right thing here.

What I mean by excitement is that you get it in your ‘cells’. You don’t have to  punch the air or run around in circles howling like a Red Indian on speed. All you need is an in-the-gut flutter or a grounded feeling of rightness.

Make sure the intention you’re working for is something you really want. This is sound advice, but…

Making sure the intention really blows your socks off, is so much better advice.

My friend and wonderful holistic educator, Dr. William Bloom describes something you‘ll want to look into more. In his amazing book, The Endorphin Effect, he talks about a concept he calls Unboundaried Dreaming.

Unboundaried Dreaming is about creating a vision which is beyond your vision.

It’s a lot of fun…

Another teacher, Barefoot Doctor, AKA Stephen Russell, has a different name for Unboundaried Dreaming.

At an event we (CommunitySoul) ran with him in November 2007 he spoke about creating a ‘Fantasy‘.

Since he taught that technique, it’s something that’s become a regular feature in my life. With a fantasy, as with Unboundaried Dreaming, the general advice is to make what you want out of this world and way beyond what you most want.

Try some fantasy/unboundaried dreaming today

Good Wishes
Neil

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Would love your input: Have you tried Unboundaried Dreaming? How do you set and handle your goals?

Neil Fellowes shows conscious entrepreneurs, coaches, consultants and complementary therapists how to make a difference AND a profit. Visit his website at http://www.communitysoul.co.uk

I know many people who would probably argue that success is meant to be easy. Many believe all we have to do is visualise our goal as already achieved, or chant a mantra, and it will all miraculously drop into our laps. And of course for some this does happen.

But we are all different. We all have different belief mechanisms. We all have different paths. And we are all here to experience the physical realities of what we feel about what we create in each moment.

It’s probably fair to say the physical and spiritual realities combine. We decide what we want and begin to work towards it (physical). We then have feelings about what we create (spiritual). This causes us to refine our actions until we either give up or succeed.

A few years ago, I found myself before a judge, giving evidence against someone I used to love. I had been abused by this woman and there were allegations that the same was happening to my daughter. There had been masses of paperwork in the ten months leading up to a final hearing (physical) and the issues raised made me question my own lack of guts in the past and the whole concept of love. My spiritual challenge during these months was to show love and compassion for my ex partner while doing what I had to do for my daughter – and of course answering my own failings as a human being before a Court.

I also took on different challenge. I decided to lose some excess weight. Having declared my intention the universe tested me, both physically and spiritually. During this time, and with a coach to reflect my behaviour, I learned more about my mind, body and spirit than I bargained for. I’ve since been blessed with the opportunity to coach others on the journey to better health and wellness.

Why do I mention these episodes?

In both cases I could have given up, lacked the relentlessness, lacked the guts, determination and backbone to nurture the skills I needed. Had I done this, through my failure to take action I’d probably have resigned one person to abuse for the rest of her childhood. In the other I’d have denied a great coach the ability to show off his skills and earn his living. And maybe, just maybe, as a result of all I’ve learned I might now go on to inspire something special to come from within others I come into contact with.

What if you contributed to one persons happiness today? What if you also inspired someone too because you found the skills and the relentlessness to go beyond the point most people do? What would your family be like in ten years? What would your friends become? What about your business? What about your village or your town?

You see, we can change the world and we do it through evolving our own consciousness. What skills do you have to find and when will you begin to apply them relentlessly in order to make your ripple of change in the world?

Much love and good wishes to you. I hope 2011 is your most magnificent year yet!

Neil

Neil Fellowes shows conscious entrepreneurs, coaches, consultants and complementary therapists how to make a difference AND a profit. Visit his website at http://www.communitysoul.co.uk

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Would love to have you answer these questions: Have you contributed to one person’s happiness recently? Do you think this inspired someone else to do the same and go beyond the point most people do?

When you set a goal, that’s just the beginning.

What is it you need to do next to have your vision happen?

Decide on your goal - work out a plan - then move forward.

Way One – The Planning: Do you have to write a plan? Pick up the phone and ask someone for help? Find a mentor?  Is there a book you need to read? A website you need to go to? A product you need to buy? Help you need to enlist?

Make a list of all the steps and make a start. Then proceed.

But it’s not just what you need to do…

Way Two – Take note of the things that cause you discomfort or the things you usually leave undone. It’s madness that we do that kind of thing, but we do!

Why do we do it? We do it because we actually don’t like change much. And why would we? After all, we just spent our who life getting this way, so why would we want it to be any different?

For me, too often in the past I left details undone, so it tripped me up. I didn’t tidy up the little snags. For you, you might notice other things you do that trip you up.

These things that trip you up are things that cause a disconnect with a prospective client or customer, so you have to resolve these snags.

Way Three - When you notice you are doing something that stops you from achieving your goal, you find a solution.

There are other things that can stop you from getting the results you want.

Some people might know they need to make sales calls, but shy away from it. But remember, just because your business needs sales calls made, doesn’t mean you have to make them.

Like with all business problems (and life) you just need to find your way around the problem… over the problem or through the problem.

From there all you do is keep checking on what might stop you. Doing this closes the gap between what you want and where you are.

Happy results!
Neil

Leave a comment and tell us what you do to get results!

Neil Fellowes shows conscious entrepreneurs, coaches, consultants and complementary therapists how to make a difference AND a profit. Visit his website at http://www.communitysoul.co.uk

We all have things we want to make a little better.

We all have challenges…

The challenges might come in relationships, at work, with our kids, with our health or something else. So there is always something we want to make a little better.

The first thing to do is the step so many miss. And yet this step really isn’t that profound. In fact it’s simple. It’s profoundly simple. So let me share what it is…

The first thing we have to do to is to make a decision to change things.

I “made” a decision to make my life better in 2002. And it doesn’t matter how good or bad life is, if you want something you don’t yet have, you have to make a decision. If you don’t, nothing changes.

There will be some people reading this article today, who have made a commitment to live life to the full and who will not turn back. These are people who will make a note and who will never look near them and there are people who are ready to make life different – however big or small the change.

In 2002 I was signed off work with a back injury, broke, obese and at this time 33 years old with two kids, and single again after 5 years of abuse. So I couldn’t really go anywhere or do anything much and… to be honest… even if I could… I’d probably have been so depressed no one would have hung out with me for long.

That left me with one focus. That focus was on what would make life better. Nothing else mattered for me at that point and there has been one question that has made a massive difference to me.

The question I ask is, “What is even better than this?”

To ask this question it doesn’t matter how good or bad life is. Asking this question can always make things just a little better.

One afternoon, after a satisfying day, I was laying on the sofa, grinning at the ceiling and I asked, what would make this even better, so I called Jo in for a hug, because sharing my good mood was better than keeping it to myself and it made the moment a bit more special.

Give the question a try…

Best wishes
Neil

http://www.communitysoul.co.uk

A number of people are struggling to find the flow of clients they want, and they need to learn how to have clients come to them more easily.

Entrepreneurs know they need to niche, but they resist it because they have a fear of narrowing focus to a specific niche and perhaps losing income.

Others may have heard that they should niche, but just don’t know where to start. And that’s okay.

Consider the word gratefulness – that’s two words great-fullness… so this is like an overflowing cup.  And this is an overflowing cup of possibilities.

And you’ve probably heard the saying that what we appreciate, appreciates. So there is a great-fullness and approach to niching as an appreciation – or with a mark of respect.

With great-fullness we appreciate who and what we want to come to us. So through niching we really are activating the law of attraction and we are also beginning from a starting point of abundance, rather than lack.

The person, who truly appreciates and honours the potential customers bringing business, is the person who invests upfront in creating a great-fullness of opportunities for those customers – much the way our Insiders Secrets group works.

Now I know this is where many people come unstuck. You want people to respond to your offers. You want customers to return. You want referrals… And what’s missing is the appreciation and the clarity that attracts these possibilities.

This comes because you need the bit of the puzzle that will help you create that appreciation or because you are stuck, in fear, or coming from a place of lack where you think if you niche you will lose clients or opportunities or income.

The first thing to do is drop your resistance to niching and start with an open and abundant heart that will really serve others.

Love and best wishes
Neil

http://www.communitysoul.co.uk

Usually I know what I want to achieve before I do something. But sometimes I don’t and I’m okay with that, especially if I feel – intuitively – I need to do that thing.

Let me share an example of what I mean….

One night Jo and I were sitting chatting. I had a networking meeting coming up the next morning and wasn’t feeling particularly inspired, though felt there was a reason to go to the meeting.

Have we all been there at least once?

We looked back to our overall vision for the business and looked at the current challenge back then. Then we started to create a vision (more of a fantasy really) about how the networking event would go.

At that time gaining more media contacts was what I needed, so we talked and began to build this incredible vision that went way beyond imagination. It started with just meeting ordinary members of the press and ended up with us being interviewed on Richard and Judy. Then we became Richard and Judy and we were interviewing people like Oprah and it all ended up in madness from there.

Anyway… as it happened the next morning when I arrived at the breakfast meeting I was told I’d been placed on the top table. When I got to the table I was met by a PR agent, a photographer, a local radio station and the local newspaper – and as many of you know, I’ve since gone on to interview a dozen top people in personal and spiritual development.

Amazing what happens when you have a vision and then follow through with some action.

But the thing here is that if you think about what I originally saw – a networking event I felt no inspiration for, then suddenly it opened up into an expression of play and fun. Then look what happened.

William Bloom said to me once, “Create an energy of blessing and leave room for the miracles.”

And I think that’s what I’m talking about here. Yes know your vision. But sometimes you might have an opportunity you don’t understand. Explore it, open your intuition to it, fantasise and then leave room for the miracles.

Best wishes
Neil

Neil Fellowes shows conscious entrepreneurs, coaches, consultants and complementary therapists how to make a difference AND a profit. Visit his website at http://www.communitysoul.co.uk

What’s the dream you’re working on right now?

You may know the answer to this straight away, but if you pause for more than 3 seconds to gather loose strands of thoughts about things you thought about days or weeks ago, you’re going to find this article the catalyst to moving the goal posts to a time, sometime sooner.

The first component is focus. You have to know clearly what you want long term. That long-term focus might break down into smaller steps.

Let’s say the long term focus is a great relationship that has thus far been illusive. That then might break down into daily tasks.

Each day I look at my 5 points of focus and decide what one thing I’m going to do on each of them. This means each day I move a step closer to my goal.

In the relationship example maybe the short-term goal is to do some self-work, book on a workshop, uncover what your ideal mate will be into, become a better kisser, dress better, feel better about yourself – whatever you feel is appropriate.

Once you have the clarity, the second thing to look at is your desire to make it happen. You’ve got to want it. It’s all fine and dandy thinking you’d like something, but do you really have a desire to have it happen. There’s little point in deciding you want something, then getting passive about it.

If the desire is there, then the third thing to look at is belief. You’ve got to believe you can do it. I believe I’m capable of pretty much anything I turn my mind to. I believe that when I come from a place of playfulness and fun, I double my chances.

Fourth element to consider is self-acceptance. Do you believe you’re worthy of what you want? To pull it off you have to believe this down to your core.

Be… do… have…

With clarity, desire, belief and self-acceptance in place, it’s easier to begin to “be” what you want – to act as if.

For example, if you want to earn £250,000 next year and you work that out, based on the hours you’d work during the next 12 months as roughly earning £200 per hour, you’d be clear on what you want.

When you look at why you want it, you build the desire. When you look for examples of where you are close to that value each hour, you build the belief. When you look at why you’re deserving of your goal, you build the references around you.

So when you begin to “do”, you’ll discover more evidence of when you’re earning your hourly rate. You may also notice when you’re not. When you start to move to lower then £200 an hour tasks from your way, you begin to get ever closer to the amount you want to earn.

When your focus, attention and behaviour have been honed long enough on what you want, your dream will come true.

Until next time

Neil

http://www.communitysoul.co.uk

Sitting down, on the floor in my living room, with Jo and a dozen bits of scrap paper neatly placed around us, isn’t the way we always spend a Saturday night. But what a night it turned out to be…

I’d just spent the day with my favourite teacher, Dr. William Bloom, as he gave his take on Creating and Manifesting a great life. He’d been asking a question during his course: “Who is telling my story?”

I thought about some of my beliefs, behaviours and values and mulled over where those patterns had been instilled – at school, by parents, friends, work colleagues, sports team managers etc.

There were a few beliefs and behaviour’s that struck me, but one I particularly want to share with you, in case you have something similar to heal…

During my school days I was always picked for leadership – team captain, town, county and club, games captain and prefect. I loved lifting trophies, hated losing, and always led by example. In football – my favourite sport – it was a thrill to captain lads who went on to sign for Arsenal, West Ham and Northampton.

I missed out on trials for Leicester because of a back injury and never got another chance to fulfil my footballing dream. (Ahhh!)

I ended up playing for the second best semi-pro outfit in the town, doing a solid job at centre half, but hankering to play in my best position, fullback. When I asked the manager to switch me, he said he’d think about it. The next match, he gave me the only roasting a team manager ever gave me, and he did it in front of the rest of the team, just because I’d asked him to play me where I knew I’d deliver my best for the team.

If that humiliation wasn’t enough, he dropped me to the 3rd team reserves the following week.

Had I dug in, gritted my teeth and fought my way back, maybe I’d have eventually worked my way back into the team and gone on to fulfill my footballing dream… who knows? But it wasn’t to be…

So as a 17 year old, I chose not to roll up my sleeves and pull out the fire from within. My will broken, I gave up. Told the manger where to shove his team and entered a bitter loop.

With my old friends playing professionally, me missing my golden opportunity, ending up at semi-pro level and then being dropped to the 3rd team, I became trapped in the experience of “not feeling good enough” – a psychological drama that many people share, for lots of different reasons.

But what’s all this got to do with sitting on the living room floor with Jo on a Saturday night?

Well, I’d become interested with the differences that separate success from failure and I wanted to ensure I ditched this not-feeling-good-enough feeling. It was no longer serving me and the direction my life was going in.

So I wrote down, “not good enough and weak willed” on this scrap of paper. Then I sat back and wondered, if I turned this over to the Universe (God, the Tao, Spirit – or whatever you want to call it) how would this experience be used as a force for good.

The answer was simple. “By determination and excellence.”

When I read the life story of top football manager, Sir Alex Ferguson, I was left in no doubt that when he was faced with similar situations of being dropped as a footballer, he was tougher than me. Today, as a manager he buys only excellence and demands excellence from his team every time.

So I adopted his determination and pursuit of excellence and asked another question, “How would I express this determination and excellence?”

The answer: put in five times more effort. So I have.

I began by clearing space. I looked at habits and behaviours that were not determined and began changing them. When I do something that doesn’t match the new standard, I go back and do it again and again until it is.

You see, being in a flow of having more isn’t just about asking for more – it’s about matching up to what you want. Having more isn’t just about writing down a goal. It’s not making a wish. It’s about putting your soul into the thing you want and doing it with love, joy compassion and good grace that honours your journey and the new you that is emerging.

Who is telling your story? What holds you back? What would life be like if you changed that forever?

How about you change it?

With love

Neil

http://www.communitysoul.co.uk

What I’m going to take you through in this article is a technique I use to constantly close the gap between where I am and where I want to get to. I’m sharing this so you can use it too.

When I sit down to write an article or I’m mapping out one of the Insiders Secrets webinars or training session I always start with a visualisation.

I imagine that I am looking beyond the page and seeing everyone taking notes, and magical golden fairy dust passing down the phone lines, enveloping you – and as a result of what I share, you become more prosperous.

And I appreciate that might all sound a bit fanciful, but it’s a technique that I know inspires me to create information that helps people and gets great feedback.

In the grand scheme of things this might seem small, but if something you take notes from becomes a way you do business, or helps you create something that changes lives or leads to your prosperity or the prosperity of one of your clients, then that’s a very cool ripple.

A vision I hold for CommunitySoul is that whoever walks with us becomes increasingly prosperous as a result of the association. Our aim is to help 12,000 business reach more than a million people and change their lives by the end of this year.

Part of the vision for these newsletters is that it’s fluff free, so let me ground what I’m saying here, before you accuse me of going off with the fairies!

Knowing the vision allows me to sit back after our events and evaluate. I’m looking at the details. What will help us to achieve our vision faster? Where don’t we match up to the vision? Are the presentations right? Did people learn all they could in the time we had? Who else can benefit from hearing this speaker? Could people listen in comfort? Is everyone moving forward? Timings? Overall message? The marketing? What needs to improve? Who will do it?

So, when you have a clear vision, you can see how easily you can begin to constantly close the gap between where you are now and where you want to get too.

It’s simple. Know your vision. Know your starting point. Close the gap.

Best wishes

Neil

www.communitysoul.co.uk

Making money is a measure.

It could be a measure for how many people you helped, how often you helped them and how much value you and they feel you bring to their life for what you do.

So making money could just be about the difference it makes to you and the people you love to help.

And we’ve all heard the saying that “the journey is more important that the end result”, so making money is just part of the journey.

Imagine for a moment that you set a goal to make £250,000 by 31st December and you have an idea that is incredible and can make a huge difference in the lives of others. As a result, the demand for how you help people grows.

In your efforts to make the quarter million, you learn so much about people and philosophy and the way the world works. You meet the wealthy and the poor and you understand more about how they became that way.

And in making your £250,000 you now make a new network of people. Other  opportunities naturally come your way and you now make a million.

And remember it’s not just about the money – the money is just a measure of how many people you’ve helped and how much value they and you put on what you do.

Maybe through the money you earn, or through your network, or both, you can help remove poverty and create more prosperity. Maybe you can help to remove damage to the environment and reduce pollution…

I was once taught how to Karate chop a board in half. I was doing this live, for the first time and in front of an audience of about 50 people.

I was instructed to focus beyond the board, where my hand would hit, once the board had broken in two. This style of vision creating is just like that – it’s putting your attention not just on having what you dream of, but on what is beyond and even better than that.

Look at what you think you want. Then consider the journey beyond it. The one that is even better than you dare dream of.

Best wishes
Neil